Friday 9 December 2016

Year in Review: 2016

I absolutely loved 2015...it was the first year I was a Mama. It was absolutely wonderful starting it out with our little darling 7 lb baby boy and watching him grow and change and become this absolutely delightful little boy. Last Christmas was so special...we were celebrating knowing a new baby was coming and sharing the news over the holidays.

January started with joy and excitement and freshness and fun. Snow and sleds and delight. Each day we have a certain rhythm to our day and it slowly builds to the BEST part of the day---Danny coming home!
February we have started to do more things like That Fun Place and morning play dates with lots of little people that we love. So grateful for all the Mamas and babies that Malachi gets to play with.

March It is so fun to do things together and Mama is soaking up all the time with just us 3 before the big life change comes with our new baby.

April Mama's belly is growing but Malachi still fits perfectly in my arms and it is my favorite thing to scoop up my busy little boy who doesn't snuggle for too long these days unless Mama puts on a worship dvd or lets him look at pictures on her phone.

May Well our lives will never, ever be the same now that CALLIE JEAN is in our world. May 4th at 10:08 am we welcomed a beautiful little baby girl. Tears of joy and surprise! I was really expecting it to be a little boy, but WOW I never knew how special a baby sister and little daughter was going to be for our family. Callie is the dreamiest, sweetest, quietest most darling girl we could have ever imagined!

June Danny got to celebrate Father's Day this year with two darling babies in his arms. We are beyond blessed with these two under 2....Whenever someone tells me "oh you must be so busy!" I qualify that EVERY time with Well these two are great! They sleep great, eat great and are so easy to be around every day. Life isn't perfect or without the days of low energy, bad moods and no patience...but I can honestly say, I AM THRILLED every day to see their faces and miss them when I tuck them in each night. I love being their Mama.
July Well the best $20 we spent this summer was this little green turtle pool where we spent hours upon hours every day. Sometimes starting early in the morning and most often times as soon as Malachi woke up from his nap. We are so grateful for a covered deck that kept it toasty warm but out of the direct sun light on his pearly skin. Callie was often times napping, cuddling in Mamas arms or watching patiently from the kitchen in the cool in her little seat. Next summer there will be 2 cutys splashing in this little turtle!

August I can't say enough how much I have enjoyed baby wearing both of these two little ones. It has been a life saver but also an incredible bonding experience to wear both of them as needed. Malachi is still content as can be to be worn and when I have put him in the front he still can see and look at whatever is going on. We have tried the backpack carry on him too and he's had fun up high too. Callie instantly soothed in the Moby wrap and although it was pretty hot wearing her during the summer, it helped me to be able to enjoy many hours at the beach, walking around outside and getting out and about with Malachi in his stroller.

September We had some of the warmest and most beautiful evening swims in September...scooting out as soon as Danny came home from work and definitely hitting up the beach on the weekends. We loved spending time with our beach loving family and this day was so special spending it on the paddle boards with the Uncles and cousins. Malachi absolutely loved being at the beach. I'll never forget his little legs running at full tilt and throwing rocks and the absolute freedom and joy he had exploring the waves, rocks and sand. We are so grateful to live so close to such beautiful places.

We end each day on our bed with books. Callie enjoys being part of it all and watches the pages intently. Malachi soaks up the time with his Daddy and snuggles in between us pointing to whoever he wishes to read the certain books. He has his favorites and when they aren't...he will wiggle and tease us until we ask..."all done??" Sometimes he is ready for his snuggle and will say YES but most times he will quickly get back in place so he doesn't miss out on the book time. We are so grateful for his love of books.

October Each day is so similar. We start with breakfast and then head to the living room to play..usually with CARS!! Callie sits in her exersaucer or joins Mal on the floor. She loves watching him. He plays with his cars on the window ledge or rolls them back and forth. They are so content to play independently and for this I am beyond grateful. There are many times I have to leave one or the other to change diapers, feed or do general cleanup or something that is necessary and it thrills my heart to peek in on them playing happily and contentedly. What a joy as a Mama to see that. Malachi often wants to go in Callies bed when they both wake up from afternoon naps. These moments are so tender for me. I daily pray for these two to have a closeness and to enjoy eachother. I know Malachi will be thrilled once Callie can actively play WITH him and until that day he is sweet to hug and kiss her. He often picks up her toys or brings her new ones if he is asked to or even does it on his own accord. There is nothing more precious then watching these two together.

November We look forward to Daddy getting home each day and after supper play time is the highlight of our day. I love listening and watching them together and although I am usually "half checked out" it thrills my soul to step back and just observe these 3 that I love so dearly. Malachi loves rolling his cars to Danny. Callie is delighted to pull Daddy's beard and sit up and grab at anything in her reach. We have a few songs that we watch on youtube and this is one of the few times we are cozy, snuggly and still during the day. We love ending our day with some good night songs.

December It's the most wonderful time of the year. I have the house decorated and each morning Malachi guides me to where all the "Lights" are. It takes awhile to light everything up! hahah We love playing outside, and Malachi will demand a "Walk" almost as soon as he wakes up. Its a bit frustrating to maneuver in the snow but his new favorite thing to do is pull our little red sled all up our drive way, in front of our house, down the 2nd drive way and across the sidewalk....over and over and....over. Mama prays for patience as she deals with mittens not being able to pick things up, snow getting in boots and just general walking in snow isn't easy when you are Mal's size. But I am thrilled to get out in the fresh air with this guy. If the sidewalks are clear and the temperature isn't too chilly we load up our double stroller and Callie gets some fresh air too. Mama gets stir crazy so its a huge relief to get out of the house at least once a day.


Honestly, in the confines of my house, 2016 has been the most joyful, restful, peaceful year of my life. My babies are awesome. I depend on their naps to refresh my soul, get alone time, read my Bible, check out and surf the net....but I am overjoyed with the hours I get to pour into my kids each day. My life is not big or important, but I know it is everything to Malachi and Callie for them to have a peaceful existence in our home.
Life outside these walls can be filled with pain and heart ache and so many things that I pray for each day cause a lot of stress and worry. I have so many people I love in different and hard situations. Even beyond my connections, I look at how the world is changing and how many things have changed this year in politics and different tragedies that have occurred...well its a wonder that everyone in the world isn't filled with despair.

But I know my hope and my peace and my courage and my joy is not on things outside, but within. I have fallen more in love with prayer this year and look forward to looking through my prayer book at the names and things that God has laid on my heart every day. It is one of my treasures. I know there will always be pain, but focusing on the JOY will be my pursuit and my aim.

Thank you Jesus. For this beautiful year. I have had so much given to me. So many blessings. And I am so grateful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thursday 28 January 2016

At the end of the day

2016 has already been filled with many many good things! I can't even believe the beautiful life I live sometimes. It's not perfect or pain free...but at the end of the day I know I have such a good, good life. I have many many blessings!
The greatest three blessings I have are the dear ones that I get to live with...Danny, Malachi and the little one growing and kicking away inside! I'm so so thankful!

I can't even begin to understand WHY or HOW time goes by so fast. I have a great little line a day journal that I've faithfully filled out last year and rereading the sentences I wrote about each day of the first year of Malachi's life reveal to me even more memories and beautiful little moments that I got to share with my little boy. 

He is now ONE! He has been in my every day life for over one full year. Every morning, when I wake up hearing his little voice or even a loud cry makes me feel so relieved that he is alive and well and made it through another night! I don't know why, but I struggle a (BIT) with those irrational fears of crib safety and other such fears that we first time moms grab ahold of, and I just love hearing him wake up every day! I love peeking in on him (as I just did) during his naps. My heart just fills when I see how cute he looks all curled up, sometimes with his arm around his stuffed bunny! Aww. So blessed.

Anyways, there are many things filling my heart lately. Lots of changes have come in this year. Things that are hard and overwhelm me. My friends have gone through many difficult things. Losing many things that are irreplaceable. My own family struggles with health issues and losses that are devastating and its just hard some times to see Light and Goodness.

But there are some themes that I long to pass on to Malachi and his new bro or sis and one of them is :God is SO Good: 
This is not always easy to see. This is not my first or even my last thought when hard things come. God is not easy for me to understand. How could He be!? He's GOD! But there are so many moments that actually ARE easy to know this. 

And I am so thankful right now for my dear little family. I am thankful for our health, even as we are getting over that life sucking miserable cold that is going around.I am so thankful for the healing in my heart *although there is much work to be done* and how my heart has grown to trust and love the church family I am part of. I am so thankful for the good blessings that my siblings and I have received this year and how we have eachother to get through the harder times. I am thankful for a Mom and Dad that are committed to eachother...the way they have chose eachother and honored their vows sometimes astounds me...but I am thankful that they are continuing to show us what this really looks like played out in the good and the bad times. I am thankful for my faith that is growing and changing and being challenged in so many areas of my life. For good friends that I learn from. For a safe place and community to raise my kids. For a warm place to live. For my country that has welcomed refugees and offers me, a stay at home Mom, a little extra financial support each month, amazing healthcare and religious freedom. There are always good things to be thankful for. 

Monday 23 November 2015

Joy

Whenever I hear of a new baby arriving, it always brings me back to the first moments that I saw Malachi. I can hardly believe its been almost 11 months of knowing him and playing with him and holding him. I can hardly even remember what it feels like without his little presence in our lives. We used to stay up late, sleep in, lounge the day away...and we still do ALOT of lounging...but this little guy is the delight of our lives.


From that first moment I saw him over the sheets...held up by my Doctor telling me "It's a Boy!!"...my life was changed.

I have never prayed so hard or felt so helpless and had to depend on JESUS to carry me as I have this year. When I look down at his little face or check on him when he's napping, I am amazed that God has carried us through these 11 months. Malachi has been so healthy, happy and wonderful to learn how to be a Mama with. I am so grateful. I pray and cry with thankfulness all through the day that he is my little boy to love. I love him so much.

I always get so excited for Advent. Jesus Birth. The beauty last year was I could imagine how Mary felt as she carried her treasure along the bumpy, uncomfortable road to Bethlehem. Bless her heart. What a miracle that Jesus was born with no complications in the circumstances that He was.

What a year for Mary to watch her baby boy grow from a swaddled little being into a boy that crawls, laughs and delights in life. I wonder how she felt watching him grow and if there was a rumbling in her spirit knowing that harm was coming for him. I wonder if she held him in her arms as He fell asleep each night weeping silent tears asking God if there was another way. Or maybe God spared her from the despair of knowing her baby boy would one day suffer and die for the sins of the world, for HER sins. Wow. Its a lot to comprehend.

I wonder how God knew that MARY was the one who was strong enough to be the Mother of the Saviour of the world. I am so thankful that my boy is safe in God's hands. I know that doesn't mean that harm will not fall on him---sickness may be part of his story, death may come early, harm will inevitably come to him in some way or form in an unpreventable (or even preventable way)

But this is not the hope that I hold to...because of baby Jesus, my boy has HOPE and the promise that the Holy Spirit is here to be our Comforter (John 14:26) and Helper (John 16:7).

I am so thankful for Christmas, and even more so this year to celebrate a whole year of life for Malachi. It reminds me so much of how I want to celebrate Christmas and just like the Grinch says:


Friday 9 October 2015

Thankful

Recently I have been realizing that I have a great number of people that are supporting me and being listening ears to me as I raise Malachi. There are so many things to worry about and so many different ways of doing things. I try so hard to not do the Mommy Wars deadly comparison games...but its very hard to not try to measure up to the other Mamas in my life (real or even the ones I read about online). There are all different kinds and I love finding the things I want to be like in them...and sometimes I just simply admire people for NOT being like me.


I am thankful for the prayers that are supporting me for when I get scared and anxious. One of my favorite parts of the day (besides reading books before bed) is the seconds right before I put Malachi down in his crib at night. I always pray out loud and he usually is wiggling or laughing at my voice...I love looking down at him and knowing God's hand is on him already. The joy and love that is in that little tiny 9 month old body astounds me. The rolls and wiggles and laughs that come out of him all through the day fill my heart. The way that he anticipates and loves all the new things he experiences each day, whether it is being carried from his room to the kitchen and coming around the corner to seeing.....HIS DADDY---and then squealing with delight...or piling him up into the car and watching how happy he is to look around all the stores I take him to. So thankful for a sweety that loves doing new things with me. My favorite thing lately is using my Ergo carrier when we walk around stores. I love having him snuggled to me. Its the best.


I love watching Danny and Malachi enjoy life together. I have learned so much from watching Danny with him. Danny loves getting down on the floor and playing with Malachi. They are hilarious together. And honestly, there is NOTHING that thrills Malachi like seeing his Daddy. He vibrates with excitement. Its so precious. I am so thankful to have a partner like him and look forward to seeing how him and Malachi grow closer through the years ahead.


So thankful this Thanksgiving for the blessings that are in my home. My two favorite people to share my life with. A warm house and warm sweaters and slippers and warm drinks. So many wonderful Mamas in my life to share and grow together with. A church that is starting to feel like home. Family only minutes away in every direction. Crisp Fall air. Bright colors. So much to be grateful for.

Monday 28 September 2015

9 Months of Malachi Jude




Dear Little Malachi Jude:
Wow. When I look at these pictures I am amazed that I spend every day with you and still feel like I discover new ways to love you. I still love seeing you when you wake up. I still am amazed at your beautiful, sweet personality. Your smiles, your laugh, and your joy. My heart still breaks when I hear you cry and I want to do anything I can to make it stop. I am amazed that you love sleeping. I am amazed that you love eating. I am so proud of how you smile at everyone who talks to you and that you already show God's love. I pray for you every night to love Jesus. I pray for your health and for you to be a light in this world. I want to protect you and keep you safe, and I sing to you that "God is so Good" "Jesus loves you" and "Oh how He loves you". I pray that those words sink into the depths of your heart. You love being around other little friends. You love crawling and being independent. Nothing thrills you more than seeing your Dada. You bring so much love and light to our home. We know that you are God's gift to us and we want to be the best parents for you. Thank you for 9 months of pure love and joy. You are our sunbeam. We love you so much. 
Love Mama and Dada

Wednesday 2 September 2015

September Fresh

I can't believe its September! I love the newness of a new season...but I am so not ready to pack away my bathing suit and shorts. I want to squeeze one last swim in...but every year I never truly know when that will be...only to discover later in September that it had already come and gone without me noticing....but my bathing suit is sitting on top of my dresser believing that one last swim is still coming!

For the last 4 Septembers, I've had a panic...putting my phone on its highest ringer, printing off new business cards, feeling the guilt if I'm not driving around selling myself at schools, feeling the guilt if I get another day off to celebrate vacation because it means one less day of pay...Last year I was worried I'd be too large to comfortably sub...which wasn't the case,thank goodness.

This year, I breathe a prayer of thankfulness every single morning that I open the door to Malachi's room and see him happily (or hungrily) rolling around. I open his curtains and say Good Morning! I love getting a snuggle from him, although he's usually straining to look around or wiggle out of my arms...especially when we head to the change table. He has 5 little teeth popping out so he's not always the most cheerful, but he is ALWAYS pleased to see his Daddy in the morning before work. He's slept in a few days, but today was one that his ears perked up to Daddy's alarm so he got to see him.

Being a Mama...I can't even believe this is my role and privilege to take care of such a sweet blessing. He truly is such a gift to us. We have always been blessed by a good sleeper and after working through the nursing problems, we have settled into a easy routine of eating, playing and napping. He is thrilled by everything...whether its the wind blowing through the trees, the cars on the street while we go for walks, looking around at stores, playing on the grass with his friends. I'm so thankful for this little guy.

I truly do love teaching, and I will miss being Mrs. Stretch this year, and not sure when I will return, to be honest, but I pray that someday I will get the chance to be in the classroom. But as long as we can do it, I am beyond happy to stay home and raise Malachi.


Tuesday 14 July 2015

I want to be just like You

There was a rad song that was called just that. Take a listen if you please. Don`t be surprised if a few tears fall though.


Lately I have been thinking of the people that I have been inspired by. Some of them are in my family. Some of them are friends that I haven`t seen since my wedding day. Some of them are friends that I haven`t seen for much longer than that. And some are people I`ve never met.



This is one of the things that inspire me.

Generosity.
I have modeled my giving around different examples in my life. When I was a little girl, I clearly remember getting a loonie for my allowance and being STRONGLY advised/forced to give a dime to Jesus on Sunday. Some may think....that is cruel to instill TITHING to a little girl...it should come from the heart...but believe me, now it does. I love giving to Jesus. I don't do it as faithfully as I should but I love doing it. I love finding people and opportunities that God puts on my heart to give to. I love being around my generous friends and seeing the gaps and holes in my own selfishness that I need to grow towards selflessness in. I am the most easily influenced person, so it is with great joy that I have friends/family that model the traits I so want to show. I have people that have sent packages filled with thoughtful things for me out of the blue, I have people who have provided meals for me (especially when Malachi was born, I'll never EVER forget how kind people were to us), I remember when I was raising support for missions trips I got generous donations anonymously and privately from people I love who didn't want glory but just wanted to help out, I remember getting letters in the mail when I was at Bible college filled with ten dollars, twenty dollars and one time FIFTY dollars or more. It feels good when someone buys you a coffee or drops off flowers for no reason. It touches peoples lives to give to missions, missionaries, and support those in need. It changes you to be kind and generous. This is a trait I long for and pray Malachi will find joy in giving to others. I was reading this article today, and it was probably what prompted me to write this in hind sight...but it is so easy to give (for me) and much harder to receive...I love the rush and feeling that you have blessed someone and now I can see those things are important for me to receive....just like the author says:


"I didn’t want him to think I needed anything in return. Then I realized he wanted to experience what I was experiencing. He wanted to see me smile and receive in gratitude. He wanted to give.
By giving, I made him smile, and by receiving I gave him dignity that lifted both of our spirits."


What a perfect way of spreading love, by watching and learning from others and passing on the blessing. It sure has worked for me. 
I'm so grateful that God has drawn me towards beautiful people with all sorts of traits that I admire. I am married to a man who is so different than I am but I am drawn to so many things in him that I want to be like. It is a big responsibility to model and live an example for our little boy. If I model impatience, anger, bitterness and resentment...why wouldn't he model that in his friendships and interactions. I pray that he will see the Lord despite my failings and learn from a young age that the Holy Spirit brings fruit of 
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self Control

And this brings me to my conclusion, 
I want to be like that. Thank you Holy Spirit.