The greatest three blessings I have are the dear ones that I get to live with...Danny, Malachi and the little one growing and kicking away inside! I'm so so thankful!
I can't even begin to understand WHY or HOW time goes by so fast. I have a great little line a day journal that I've faithfully filled out last year and rereading the sentences I wrote about each day of the first year of Malachi's life reveal to me even more memories and beautiful little moments that I got to share with my little boy.
He is now ONE! He has been in my every day life for over one full year. Every morning, when I wake up hearing his little voice or even a loud cry makes me feel so relieved that he is alive and well and made it through another night! I don't know why, but I struggle a (BIT) with those irrational fears of crib safety and other such fears that we first time moms grab ahold of, and I just love hearing him wake up every day! I love peeking in on him (as I just did) during his naps. My heart just fills when I see how cute he looks all curled up, sometimes with his arm around his stuffed bunny! Aww. So blessed.
Anyways, there are many things filling my heart lately. Lots of changes have come in this year. Things that are hard and overwhelm me. My friends have gone through many difficult things. Losing many things that are irreplaceable. My own family struggles with health issues and losses that are devastating and its just hard some times to see Light and Goodness.
But there are some themes that I long to pass on to Malachi and his new bro or sis and one of them is :God is SO Good:
This is not always easy to see. This is not my first or even my last thought when hard things come. God is not easy for me to understand. How could He be!? He's GOD! But there are so many moments that actually ARE easy to know this.
And I am so thankful right now for my dear little family. I am thankful for our health, even as we are getting over that life sucking miserable cold that is going around.I am so thankful for the healing in my heart *although there is much work to be done* and how my heart has grown to trust and love the church family I am part of. I am so thankful for the good blessings that my siblings and I have received this year and how we have eachother to get through the harder times. I am thankful for a Mom and Dad that are committed to eachother...the way they have chose eachother and honored their vows sometimes astounds me...but I am thankful that they are continuing to show us what this really looks like played out in the good and the bad times. I am thankful for my faith that is growing and changing and being challenged in so many areas of my life. For good friends that I learn from. For a safe place and community to raise my kids. For a warm place to live. For my country that has welcomed refugees and offers me, a stay at home Mom, a little extra financial support each month, amazing healthcare and religious freedom. There are always good things to be thankful for.
