One Year Strong

June is such a fun month!!! June 1st started with a celebration of one beautiful full year with my true love. I can hardly believe one year ago was our beautiful wedding day spent with all my bestest friends and dearest family and loved ones.

My heart is so full and I hardly know how to write down what this year has meant to me. It has been the best year of my life. I have never been happier, felt more loved or secure or been blessed so abundantly. Don't get me wrong, I have had a good life before I got married. But waiting for Danny was hard. Being single when most of my friends had three or four or FIVE children and celebrating their 8th or 9th or 10th wedding anniversaries was just hard at times. I felt like I was waiting forever!!! I was 30 when I even started dating Dan....not how I imagined life going. 

But...

Never did I imagine that I would find a match just perfect for me. Totally, TOTALLY worth the wait.

Do I believe in soul mates? I have to. This guy is mine and I am his. I wouldn't want anyone else in the world. I think that question always bothers  me cuz people write articles or even books to say soul mates aren't real, but that's just how I feel. He's my best and my favorite.

This year has been filled with joy but.....also lots of stubborness, more then our fair share of fights, arguments and those DEADLY silences....thats what I hate more than anything!!! 

YET every day I wake up more in love with this man, and every day around 4pm I just get anxious and EXCITED waiting for him to come home to me. My favorite time of the day is getting cozy together and knowing that we are HOME for the night. And we had such a full year of togetherness. Our summer was filled with canoe rides and beach days and watching movies with 3 fans blowing on us. Our fall was filled with hikes, games nights and lots of cheap Tuesday night movie nights. And our GLORIOUS long cold winter filled with storm days were SO fun because this year we were together...not separated at our own apartments like last year! I loved snuggling up with this guy on our (MANY) storm days this year. Now it is spring and we have worked hard to get our yard straightened up and setting up our deck with my new hammock and flower baskets. 

One full year of love and happiness. 

We have learned alot about budgetting money, adjusting to a new church, balancing time together, figuring out how video games fit in our life!!! and lots of time with our fams (and friends if we are lucky!!!)

I love Danny Stretch more than ever and I feel so loved by him. 

Marriage is not easy. I knew that it wouldn't be, but its the best thing that ever happened to me!

Our one year old yard

I can't help but marvel at the change the summer sunlight and green grass and blue sky makes to a crazy, over run backyard! Oh, 46 Hilltop Drive, we have so so so much work to do but as I look over these pictures I am realizing that we have come a long way! I actually really like looking at my backyard now, it reminds me of where we CAN possibly be with a little hard work and patience. Dan always reminds me that we can't do it ALL on our budget or timeline, but its fun to start dreaming! Mostly, if I find a place for a hammock and laundry line I'll be a happy gal!!

                  April 2013-Back                                               June 2014-Back

             

   

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 August-2013-Shed                              December-2013-Shed

 

    April-2014-Shed                                  June-2014-Shed

 

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    April-2013-Front                                       December-2013-Front

 

    April-2014-Front                                  June-2014-Front

 

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    Crazy, Back Corner-Dec, 2013                April-2014

    June-2014

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    Our Front Tree-During 

    Snowmaggeddon-March-2014       Pre-Pruning-April-2014

         

            In all her glory-June 2014

    

All of these pictures really don't probably seem that "STARTLING" to any one but me, because I know what has happened and I am really only recording this as something that probably only I am interested in...but its still fun to see the changes that have taken place in just a little short year!!!

A Happy Day

This week I didn't have many days booked, incidentally only Tuesday and Friday...But I managed to fill my in between days with some sunshiney fun and with some special people. Kristi, Levi and I headed across the bridge (Stratford, that is) and found some amaze deals at No Frills...which means that Danny gets to eat his favorite fruit this week!! GRAPES! Delish! It was so nice to have one of those days "in town" when I haven't had one in awhile with those two. I got to spend extra alone time with Levi when Kristi got her hair cut, walking around Toys R Us and he was a perfect gentleman. Not one tear or temper when we had to leave. And today I woke up and anxiously checked to see if I had got work, and noticed that one of Danny's cousins was having a crisis cuz they didn't have a babysitter for the day so I got to practice at being a Stay-At-Home-Mom today with his adorable three year old. I seriously did have the best day with him. I managed to pull out all my bags of tricks, and improvised with a few extra walks to Tims and SaveEasy to pass the time. I think he had a great day cuz when I told him his Mom was going to pick him up soon, he said "No fair!!". That was so sweet, and Danny got home a bit earlier today too so we both got to hang with him. I think my heart melts a little more everytime I see Dan with little kids. They adore him!!

So tonight we celebrated little bro, not to mention LAST night too!! And I'm here in my quiet little house, since Dan headed out to his Thursday basketballgame. And I almost squealed into town to spend some of the money that is burning a hole in my pocket, but I was so proud of myself for turning around and realizing I didn't need to do that.

You see, some of my sweet Prairie Pals announced this week that they were Debt-Free. And I know they are not the only ones. I have other inspirations and have many friends who are great with money and save well and give up extras to "live like no one else" (Dave Ramsey). I am proud of my own husband who made so many sacrifices years ago living in Manitoba and working at a Nickel mine. He has given me a life I know I would never of had on my own. He has blessed me with so many things...beyond even the blessings of companionship and love...I am reminded all the time when I look at our house and know that this home is a gift. We are blessed to have a place that is ours.  So this week has been a sobering one to realize that although we have made a few changes in our lifestyle, there is MUCH to be done to get to a place that I can shout from the rooftops that we are also DEBT free.

Tonight was just one little tiny win, but I'm glad I decided to turn around. I look forward to growing even stronger in our understanding of how to be financially wise and generous with our money in the days ahead.

May Update

This month went WAY.TOO.FAST. Holy smokes. I don't like life speeding by like this. I seriously feel like I just celebrated my wedding and already I'm here thinking about my FIRST ANNIVERSARY which is in 9 days. I can't believe what a year its been.

There has been some pretty big things happening in the past few weeks. I don't really totally unleash my  heart here on my little blog, but the truth is that I lost someone in our family this month. She was my Aunt, and I never knew her as she once was, but I have visited her as she was for my whole life. She is in Heaven now with my dear Grampie, Uncle Eldie and her own little boy that she never got to hold, Jesse. I can imagine them sitting up there in a row on a park bench as they did here on earth. I was looking through old pictures and noticed how close my Uncle Eldie loved sitting to my Grampie...always so snuggled up, and I can totally picture that happening up there. A lot to process, always.

I think death reminds us all of life. It made me realize what I have. I am so blessed in so many ways, and although life all too often gets me down in the dumps....I have so much.

I am reminded in this Spring...the second Spring of our life here at 46 Hilltop Drive. We closed on this house last April, and its been a full year of owning, renovating, and making it our home. It's not even CLOSE!!!! to being done, but its ours!!!

I am reminded when I realize how lucky I am that I live so close to my family. We have so many family get-to-gethers that sometimes it overwhelms us....we have 2 large families and most weekends are spent with one or the other...or on holidays...BOTH!!! I love having our nieces and nephews over, and although I never feel like I do enough...I am thankful and grateful for the connections I have with my siblings and all of my family.

I am reminded in the new hopes that spring out of the dark, hard year we had in 2013....2014 has been a much brighter and more pleasant all around. We have started to come out of our hole after a long winter of storms, watching FULL TV series (one after another....oops!!!) and snuggling inside. We are starting to attack the weeds in our lawn, and I feel so good about the progress and the 45 bags of compost that got HAULED away, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

I am reminded in my most treasured and precious human relationship....Daniel Ryan. He is beyond what I ever imagined I would find. He loves me so much. And beyond that....I LOVE HIM so much back. After so many years of being single, the gift of loving and being loved is something that still blows me away. And we don't have it all together nor do we have a perfect relationship, but its absolutely perfect for us. He is there when I need him. He is there when I need a gentle word or a firm reminder...he doesn't baby me at all (although sometimes I kinda wish I could get an OUNCE more of sympathy out of him). He makes me stronger and better and I know that I am blessed to be called his wife.

So today I remind myself of these blessings. This GOOD. Even though today I felt emo and screwed up a bit in my subbing career by double booking (TWICE....in the span of 12 hours...which I've only done one other time in my 3 year career). When I screw up, I take it to heart. But truly...I know that life is more than that. I can wallow (a bit) but life needs to continue to move forward. I am so glad I have someone moving forward with me and reminding me of the GOOD to when I forget. I need him.

And in this season of Spring, I feel the desires to truly be rooted and firmly established in Jesus. I need HIM more then anything or anyone. And I long to have my heart fully satisfied in HIM. I try to think of theme verses for each month, and I have not yet claimed one for May, but I think I will choose to meditate on just those things I mentioned:

Colossians 2:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

6 And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. 7 Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Dark Days

So today is the brightest Saturday morning. Sun is streaming in every window and doorway. We have our blinds up to the highest and our window just had fresh spring air blowing through here. My darlin husband has seriously been working hard all morning cleaning...and I mean DEEP CLEANING our bathrooms. I have been sitting here in our kitchen, reading Psalms and texting a sweet gal and thinking about some of the harder days.

I just read some beautiful, REAL and AUTHENTIC words from my emo/artist/kindred spirit David in Psalm 13....

How long will you forget me?

How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul...

with sorrow in my heart every day?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die.

And I can honestly say that the whole year of 2013 was one of the hardest and toughest years to struggle through. Yes, I was engaged. Yes, I was in love. But I was losing a church I loved. If you know me, church has always been a topic of my heart. Even back in high school, I chatted for hours with friends about the flaws and my hopes for what church "was intended to be". And in Bible school, I defended the "CHURCH" to all my friends filled with angst and bitterness of how the church had "hurt" them. Through my adult single years, I watched a church just utterly defeat our family. I watched my Mom and Dad be pummeled....thats the only way I can describe it...by people they had literally poured their hearts and souls into. I walked away from a church that had "loved and cared for me" from the age of 10 all through my teen age years and into my 20s. I left behind people I thought would be at my wedding. I thought it would be different then that. I reluctantly attended the "it" church that most of the people my age had been attending for the past few years. I left before the last song, and sat with my sister every week. I didn't connect, nor did I want to. After a few years, I joined a small group. I started to belong. I started to really get to know people, and it wasn't easy, but it was family. It took me a few more years, but God gave me a passion for Sunday School so I started to do that and loved every second. I started dating Danny, and we were scared for our "first Sunday sitting together"...but we attended this church all through our dating days and when we were engaged, it was announced from the front. We were loved and blessed by people who noticed us and celebrated with us at our wedding. 

But almost from the moment we were engaged, this church came between Danny and I. We fought, discussed and talked for hours about what was happening. And I don't want to rehash nor do I want to act like it didn't happen...because it did. It still affects me, but gratefully, I feel like I am healing. 

So after much prayer, discussion and watching what it was doing to US. We left our church. We started fresh in a new one. Its not easy nor is it perfect. But we can and we see that God is leading us and we want to be where God wants us.

All of this to say, DARK DAYS. It still creeps in on me. I still hate that I lost my church. I still feel bitterness and unforgiveness and anger. But God is so close to me that I can hardly even allow it to simmer before I pray and allow God to wash over me. I just ache to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow all those good fruits to be in my heart...not the other ones (hostility, anger, divisions, bitterness...etc.)

All of this to say that this PSALM does not disregard those feelings. It does not say. Do not ever feel sorrow. Do not ever be negative.....but what it does say and the redemption of the Psalms is that although those feelings are acknowledged....almost all psalms end with a praise to God...such as this one:

But........

I TRUST IN YOUR UNFAILING LOVE

I WILL REJOICE BECAUSE YOU HAVE RESCUED ME

I WILL SING TO THE LORD

BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME

So this morning, as all those feelings washed over me. 

I was reminded again that God's unfailing LOVE has been with me. Through all the hard days in the past. Those HARD days of being single and watching your friends fall in love, plan weddings, start a family. Those HARD days of being in the middle of your church splitting. Those HARD days of trying to understand where our new loyalties lie as newlyweds even though we have our ties to our own families, we have forged a new one together.  

And today on this sunny bright spring day, in my clean house. Sitting with Indie Dance music playing loud and in the peace of being able to write and read my Bible. Knowing I am loved from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes by my best friend who is cleaning my shower....Knowing that I have so many blessings living here at 46 Hilltop Drive. Knowing that both of our families are close and we all love each other. Knowing that we have a church that we can start building new friendships and connections in, and knowing that my heart is still connected with my old church through prayers and making intentional connections.  I know that God has rescued me from dark days, and they will come again---no doubt...but HE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME. I am so grateful for this reminder today. 

Celebration Days

After the long winter, you would not believe the happiness and joy that was felt on this little Island to have short sleeves! I was subbing in Jonah's school the other day and was standing with him and some of his little friends and they were all so hot so I was helping them take their winter jackets off! And forget about it at recess! I gave up trying to tell kids to keep their coats on!

Oh spring! We just love when you FINALLY arrive.

Plus spring means, birthday season comes. First we celebrated our special Jonah a few times!!! We are all stoked to share his gift of a WII!!! yes! You know the Bredins were rejoicing to have someone in the fam with our favorite video game system!

And this Wednesday was MY favorite guy's birthday! Hint: This guy!!!

We had the best night just doing everything Dan wanted! He usually does not like deciding what we do and is so easy going. But it was pretty easy to figure out what would bless his heart!!! 

VIDEO GAMES!

Bless his heart, we do spend quite a bit playing games on a regular day, but I don't always do it with a cheerful heart! But this day I tried my best and I rented a Monopoly game that was more my "speed". But truly I do feel so honored to love this man. I feel like every day I discover and feel so honored that I get to be HIS wife forever. I love love love doing things that make him happy, and he is so so so easy to make happy. He certainly loves me! hahah  

Now the next celebration is Easter Weekend, beyond the jam packed family time of Stretch EasterEgg Decorating, Bredin Progressive Supper, Bredin Sibling Hang, and Stretch Easter Hunt.....well lets just say there is so many blessings in this weekend but I want to remain focused on Jesus. 

One of my favorite stories I taught the kids last year in Sunday School was Palm Sunday and I loved re-reading the 4 accounts in the Gospels and noticing the details and repetition that was in all 4 books. 

I love Matthew's emphasis on the children praising Jesus and shouting praise

I love Mark's emphasis on the words that were said "Praise and Bless"

I love Luke's emphasis on other words that were said "Peace and Glory"

I love John's emphasis that MANY WENT OUT TO MEET HIM and explaining the MAIN reason why they were going was because of His miracles....and the Pharisees recognizing how the whole world "has gone after Him."

At our small group this week, we were recognizing just how FICKLE people are. From Sunday to Friday, their minds and hearts were changed, and praise the Lord that by SUNDAY again, some believed and recognized the TRUTH. HEARTS can change in a matter of a week and JESUS conquered Death.

I love hymns, and I'm the type that would prefer the "old tune" not some revamped version, but I do love this remix and I love how much truth and theology are found in these beautiful songs! Praise Jesus!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXp6xcY5IqU

A Bright Sunny Day

My house is FILLED with light and brightness this morning...which didn't help a few hours ago when I had a headache...but its gone now! So I am welcoming the light!!

I sit here reflecting about the things and the ways God is teaching me and revealing more and more to me as the days go by. Things that aren`t always easy to know.

As I read other wonderful bloggers...its so hard to wonder why I am even bothering. Why don`t I just journal and shut this whole thing down. I don`t blog for more people to read. I don`t blog to promote my writing or to one day land a book deal. I don`t even hardly blog to communicate to my friends because most of them don`t even read it. So blogging has just been a way to recount who and where I am at a certain stage of my life. I like re reading things I wrote. I like remembering the stages by the little blurbs and pictures I put up. I am not trying to impress anyone but I sometimes let my fingers just hover with wondering...should I write what I really want to write...or try to think of some cute activity I did lately to make my blog more interesting. But I know the ones who read it really like me and if they are taking the time to read, then what I write is enough!

My heart has been reflecting a lot about Romans lately. I think about it all the time, chat with anyone who will listen, research other blogs, read/listen up on my most trusted spiritual mentors, listen to youtube sermons or clips and re-read the passages over and over.

So what is my conundrums...what really makes me squirm lately?

Basically, I've been struggling through Romans 14-16. We've been discussing and talking about the weaker vs. stronger brother/sister in faith and what accepting looks/feels like and how to avoid the people who cause "divisions and upset people's faith".

I have come to see myself as a weaker sister in some areas and also realized there are many battles that simply just don't affect me. I don't care about hymns vs worship songs (although I love hymns better!!!). I don't care about drums or styles (although church music really isn't my fave). I don't drink alcohol and I'm not bothered by Christians who drink responsibly.  I don't like being around drunk people at all, but I have been in many social settings the only one who was sipping a Pepsi (especially when I lived in Japan).

There are things that really do rile me up. Living and allowing yourself to be known in the church community beyond people that know you well and accept you...is hard. We joined a small group, and it has revealed my passionate side...and brought up very familiar feelings of frustration and discouragement that I often feel when I am in a small group. This isn't really a reflection of the group, but more me and how I interact with people with different views. I came across this quote on FB the other day:

"Friends become wiser together through a healthy clash of viewpoints" ---Tim Keller

I can honestly say that the person that I learn this the most from is Danny. We are about as opposite as you can get and we have come a LONG way from where and who we were 3 years ago. I have seen us work through a lot if issues and we continue to have disagreements and discussions on all manners of things, but I have definitely benefited from him. I know who I am today is largely in part from his influence. But beyond Danny, almost every day I am challenged by the blogs I read, comments put up on FB, and interactions with people out and about.

I get so passionate on things of faith, church, marriage, education, childcare, etc......it doesn't take much for me to rise up to a discussion especially on those topics.

• I feel so upset sometimes when Pastors/Writers that I listen to, respect and trust are taken out of context and random quotes are put on people's statuses to pigeon hole them into being a certain way. I start judging the judgers pretty quickly and its not usually with grace.
•  I get upset when people don't value the Bible and when I hear people write off the Old Testament it makes me wonder how could someone actually not value those books. There is just so much we need to know about the Gospel and the WHOLE BIBLE is the context...not just the NT.
•  I get upset when people break up, cheat or talk to their spouse disrespectfully, even though I have not mastered marriage yet myself. I want my marriage to last forever. I want my marriage to have the strongest friendship, to be connected, to remain and grow stronger to God and each other with each year. I am afraid of the years ahead that will distract us from building on the foundation of God and friendship.
•  I want my own classroom so much so I can start implementing all the dreams and plans I have had for so many years of how to love and build into children consistently. I used to sketch out plans for a youth center when I was in high school. I used to dream about running an orphanage. I used to long to be a missionary in some beautiful exotic place....but I love my role as a traveling substitute here on the Island. I find myself exposed to people of all races, religions and backgrounds and I want to do more then be just a sub teacher that is there for one day at a time.
•  I want to be a stay at home mom (someday...no babies yet, chill!!!) I want to be like most of my friends whose worlds revolve around loving their husbands and families. I want to have a house full of happy kids, but I am also scared to death that I won't be able to handle it or do it well. 

All of these feelings come up when I read blogs. When I hear other women, doing it well. I want to have something to say too. I want to matter and make my voice strong and be a respected part of the community. But the more I think and grow, the more I feel I am revealed....and it ain't always good. I sometimes really want to avoid people, to avoid those healthy clashes, to stay home and listen to Tim Keller's sermons instead of attending a local church. I wish I could go to a small group where I would never have to leave frustrated or upset because of something someone else said. I wish Danny and I NEVER fought.

But I can see all these things are causing me to grow and be stretched and to discover new ways I can handle difficult situations. To be kind, when I just want to throttle. To be gentle, when I just want to argue. To be patient, when I just want MY way to be heard. I wish I could say I am growing in these areas, and I often ask Danny...."Am I getting better?" I know he wants to say yes, but I know its slow going! I am happy to be in a place of passion and learning and growth and I want to let God be evident through the hard things that make me feel upset. Its not easy. Nope. But I know its the best way to live.