So far so GOOD!!!

Summer has been so wonderful. I worked up until the last day of school.....got a half day in one of my fave kindergarten classes on Weds. June 25th....so until July 7th....I was on VACATION!!! ( although I did do a morning at Study Abroad) I just lived it up so much those days because I knew I would have work this summer. There is something about just enjoying days off and having a REAL relaxing time off! Danny even took one of the days off with me, and that day turned out to be one of the SUNNIEST BEST days! Here's some of my highlights:

Took Levi to town while Kristi was away. We had the best time looking at Toys in every store and made a few purchases at the Dollar store. He was such a good boy! We wished Jonah could have come, but he wasn't feeling good. 

Jules came to visit, and we had a great time too at Boom Burger, North Rustico, and she was a real sport and went to our Stretch Fam BBQ/Campfire for most of Saturday night! I just loved having time with her!

Took Jonah to the beach (while Levi was napping) and we had the BEST time together too! The waves were the best and warmest so far this summer and he was brave and was swimming with his tube so much! 

We went out to North Rustico to check on the waves from Hurricane Arthur! It was beautiful, but we stepped outside and got sand blasted...not so much fun...but we had a great night *didn't lose our power, thankfully* and once we got some of the sand out settled in for a cozy night at home with the howling winds outside!

We went to a Triple Header at the Drive In, but the power went off so we got free tickets to go anytime we want this summer!! (SWEET)

Dan found this BEAUTIFUL picture at Winners and we hadn't hung anything in our room, so this makes me feel so happy when I see it! 

Finally got my clothesline up and a friend gave me SO many matern clothes which is a HUGE blessing and encouragement! 

But the GREATEST thing about my summer so far is of course, my BABY!!! Yesterday I heard the heartbeat again, and couldn't help but just cry and cry because I am so relieved and thankful and overwhelmed that there is a little soul tucked inside just moving and with a strong heartbeat...although I haven't felt any movements yet, it was a relief to know that so far our little one is safe and sound in there. 

Best things so far: 18 weeks

• hearing the heartbeat again
• we found a crib and changing table on KIJIJI and its our first big purchase for the babe's room. We want to redo the flooring at some point this summer, so I can't wait to pick that out. Thankfully I already seam filled and painted over the March Break and the closet and ceiling are all repainted too!
• getting alot of advice from friends and family, especially on baby gear. Dan's sister and bro in law let us tag along to Toys R Us because they are also expecting their second child this summer and got lots of advice on strollers, car seats, baby tubs, etc. I've been so overwhelmed with the kindness of people and even offers of lending me clothes, giving me baby books to read, and just being excited with us as we anticipate this HUGE adventure
• So far I fit in normal clothes, but I am collecting longer shirts and putting away shorts/pants that hurt my waist! Loving wearing my comfy black pants, and pretty much change into my summer pj's if I know I'm staying home for the night!

Guess what!!!!

Dan and I are having a baby. 

I'm 16 weeks today!

I know this won't be too surprising for my 3 readers, since you are all close friends...but I wanted to blog a momentous event in my life. It's still very surreal for me.

I am not sick but I do have a few symptoms so far:

• not liking coffee too much in the mornings, except Starbucks!!! ( I treat myself to a few sometimes, but not going nuts!!!)
• a little moody *Dan may put a different adjective instead of (little) but he's been a champ at loving me and encouraging me. I am so thankful for this guy. He already rubs my feet without me asking all the time and is so kind and loving to me. But he rarely treats me like a baby, he's tough and gentle at the same time with me!! I feel so blessed that I get a husband like him.
• lots of bathroom breaks, especially around 3 or 4 at night, and feel a little hungry in the night too...but nothing too serious. I am usually too tired to worry about it till the morning. But I eat breakfast more faithfully now! Trying not to forget my pre-natal vitamin every morning!
• I feel a bit chubby, but so far fit into most of my clothes. I put a few things away cuz they were a bit tight but I am not wearing maternity stuff yet....I am on the search for some cute things though! I got a sweet little dress at target, but so far my maternity wardrobe is 2 pairs of jeans from value village and 1 shirt. Luckily most of my wardrobe has always been for comfort so alot of my clothes will fit me for awhile I think!! 
• A little tired, but not too bad. I fell asleep in Star Wars a few times, and we usually go to bed at a decent time anyways, but there have been a few days that I felt totally zonked and slept in and then even had another nap. But for the most part I feel normal. 

Best parts so far:

• I will never forget Danny's reaction to finding out he was going to be a Daddy. He is very excited and although we know we aren't prepared/ready/have ANY sweet clues about this...he always maintains a very confident and relaxed and happy attitude about becoming parents. For THIS....I am thankful...because I feel WAY nervous, scared, excited, terrified.....etc...
• Hearing our little lemon's heartbeat on June 17. I haven't "felt" pregnant at all, but this was such an amazing thing to hear. I can't even describe how it feels to know there is a little person inside me who can suck their thumb and even is growing toenails....Today they are the size of a pear!!!
• The amazing, unbelievably ENCOURAGING support we have received from our family and friends. It was very odd to tell people we were pregnant, but the momentum just kept building. After we had held the secret between us for 3 months, it was exciting to share the news with the people we love. I was just so encouraged by all the friends and acquaintances who sent support through wack ol' FB too. I was a little nervous to post it there, but in the end it was nice to tell people that we otherwise may not have run into personally, but still care about us. 

So my life is changing. I'm resisting some of the changes. I have loved the time that Danny and I have shared, especially in our first year of marriage. In some ways it feels soooo quick to already be pregnant, but I am beyond thankful and overwhelmed with joy that God has blessed us this way. I know that this is a miracle and I pray hard that our baby will be healthy, happy and will arrive safe. I still can hardly believe I found Danny, and this new miracle is just blowing my mind.

One Year Strong

June is such a fun month!!! June 1st started with a celebration of one beautiful full year with my true love. I can hardly believe one year ago was our beautiful wedding day spent with all my bestest friends and dearest family and loved ones.

My heart is so full and I hardly know how to write down what this year has meant to me. It has been the best year of my life. I have never been happier, felt more loved or secure or been blessed so abundantly. Don't get me wrong, I have had a good life before I got married. But waiting for Danny was hard. Being single when most of my friends had three or four or FIVE children and celebrating their 8th or 9th or 10th wedding anniversaries was just hard at times. I felt like I was waiting forever!!! I was 30 when I even started dating Dan....not how I imagined life going. 

But...

Never did I imagine that I would find a match just perfect for me. Totally, TOTALLY worth the wait.

Do I believe in soul mates? I have to. This guy is mine and I am his. I wouldn't want anyone else in the world. I think that question always bothers  me cuz people write articles or even books to say soul mates aren't real, but that's just how I feel. He's my best and my favorite.

This year has been filled with joy but.....also lots of stubborness, more then our fair share of fights, arguments and those DEADLY silences....thats what I hate more than anything!!! 

YET every day I wake up more in love with this man, and every day around 4pm I just get anxious and EXCITED waiting for him to come home to me. My favorite time of the day is getting cozy together and knowing that we are HOME for the night. And we had such a full year of togetherness. Our summer was filled with canoe rides and beach days and watching movies with 3 fans blowing on us. Our fall was filled with hikes, games nights and lots of cheap Tuesday night movie nights. And our GLORIOUS long cold winter filled with storm days were SO fun because this year we were together...not separated at our own apartments like last year! I loved snuggling up with this guy on our (MANY) storm days this year. Now it is spring and we have worked hard to get our yard straightened up and setting up our deck with my new hammock and flower baskets. 

One full year of love and happiness. 

We have learned alot about budgetting money, adjusting to a new church, balancing time together, figuring out how video games fit in our life!!! and lots of time with our fams (and friends if we are lucky!!!)

I love Danny Stretch more than ever and I feel so loved by him. 

Marriage is not easy. I knew that it wouldn't be, but its the best thing that ever happened to me!

Our one year old yard

I can't help but marvel at the change the summer sunlight and green grass and blue sky makes to a crazy, over run backyard! Oh, 46 Hilltop Drive, we have so so so much work to do but as I look over these pictures I am realizing that we have come a long way! I actually really like looking at my backyard now, it reminds me of where we CAN possibly be with a little hard work and patience. Dan always reminds me that we can't do it ALL on our budget or timeline, but its fun to start dreaming! Mostly, if I find a place for a hammock and laundry line I'll be a happy gal!!

                  April 2013-Back                                               June 2014-Back

             

   

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 August-2013-Shed                              December-2013-Shed

 

    April-2014-Shed                                  June-2014-Shed

 

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    April-2013-Front                                       December-2013-Front

 

    April-2014-Front                                  June-2014-Front

 

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    Crazy, Back Corner-Dec, 2013                April-2014

    June-2014

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    Our Front Tree-During 

    Snowmaggeddon-March-2014       Pre-Pruning-April-2014

         

            In all her glory-June 2014

    

All of these pictures really don't probably seem that "STARTLING" to any one but me, because I know what has happened and I am really only recording this as something that probably only I am interested in...but its still fun to see the changes that have taken place in just a little short year!!!

A Happy Day

This week I didn't have many days booked, incidentally only Tuesday and Friday...But I managed to fill my in between days with some sunshiney fun and with some special people. Kristi, Levi and I headed across the bridge (Stratford, that is) and found some amaze deals at No Frills...which means that Danny gets to eat his favorite fruit this week!! GRAPES! Delish! It was so nice to have one of those days "in town" when I haven't had one in awhile with those two. I got to spend extra alone time with Levi when Kristi got her hair cut, walking around Toys R Us and he was a perfect gentleman. Not one tear or temper when we had to leave. And today I woke up and anxiously checked to see if I had got work, and noticed that one of Danny's cousins was having a crisis cuz they didn't have a babysitter for the day so I got to practice at being a Stay-At-Home-Mom today with his adorable three year old. I seriously did have the best day with him. I managed to pull out all my bags of tricks, and improvised with a few extra walks to Tims and SaveEasy to pass the time. I think he had a great day cuz when I told him his Mom was going to pick him up soon, he said "No fair!!". That was so sweet, and Danny got home a bit earlier today too so we both got to hang with him. I think my heart melts a little more everytime I see Dan with little kids. They adore him!!

So tonight we celebrated little bro, not to mention LAST night too!! And I'm here in my quiet little house, since Dan headed out to his Thursday basketballgame. And I almost squealed into town to spend some of the money that is burning a hole in my pocket, but I was so proud of myself for turning around and realizing I didn't need to do that.

You see, some of my sweet Prairie Pals announced this week that they were Debt-Free. And I know they are not the only ones. I have other inspirations and have many friends who are great with money and save well and give up extras to "live like no one else" (Dave Ramsey). I am proud of my own husband who made so many sacrifices years ago living in Manitoba and working at a Nickel mine. He has given me a life I know I would never of had on my own. He has blessed me with so many things...beyond even the blessings of companionship and love...I am reminded all the time when I look at our house and know that this home is a gift. We are blessed to have a place that is ours.  So this week has been a sobering one to realize that although we have made a few changes in our lifestyle, there is MUCH to be done to get to a place that I can shout from the rooftops that we are also DEBT free.

Tonight was just one little tiny win, but I'm glad I decided to turn around. I look forward to growing even stronger in our understanding of how to be financially wise and generous with our money in the days ahead.

May Update

This month went WAY.TOO.FAST. Holy smokes. I don't like life speeding by like this. I seriously feel like I just celebrated my wedding and already I'm here thinking about my FIRST ANNIVERSARY which is in 9 days. I can't believe what a year its been.

There has been some pretty big things happening in the past few weeks. I don't really totally unleash my  heart here on my little blog, but the truth is that I lost someone in our family this month. She was my Aunt, and I never knew her as she once was, but I have visited her as she was for my whole life. She is in Heaven now with my dear Grampie, Uncle Eldie and her own little boy that she never got to hold, Jesse. I can imagine them sitting up there in a row on a park bench as they did here on earth. I was looking through old pictures and noticed how close my Uncle Eldie loved sitting to my Grampie...always so snuggled up, and I can totally picture that happening up there. A lot to process, always.

I think death reminds us all of life. It made me realize what I have. I am so blessed in so many ways, and although life all too often gets me down in the dumps....I have so much.

I am reminded in this Spring...the second Spring of our life here at 46 Hilltop Drive. We closed on this house last April, and its been a full year of owning, renovating, and making it our home. It's not even CLOSE!!!! to being done, but its ours!!!

I am reminded when I realize how lucky I am that I live so close to my family. We have so many family get-to-gethers that sometimes it overwhelms us....we have 2 large families and most weekends are spent with one or the other...or on holidays...BOTH!!! I love having our nieces and nephews over, and although I never feel like I do enough...I am thankful and grateful for the connections I have with my siblings and all of my family.

I am reminded in the new hopes that spring out of the dark, hard year we had in 2013....2014 has been a much brighter and more pleasant all around. We have started to come out of our hole after a long winter of storms, watching FULL TV series (one after another....oops!!!) and snuggling inside. We are starting to attack the weeds in our lawn, and I feel so good about the progress and the 45 bags of compost that got HAULED away, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

I am reminded in my most treasured and precious human relationship....Daniel Ryan. He is beyond what I ever imagined I would find. He loves me so much. And beyond that....I LOVE HIM so much back. After so many years of being single, the gift of loving and being loved is something that still blows me away. And we don't have it all together nor do we have a perfect relationship, but its absolutely perfect for us. He is there when I need him. He is there when I need a gentle word or a firm reminder...he doesn't baby me at all (although sometimes I kinda wish I could get an OUNCE more of sympathy out of him). He makes me stronger and better and I know that I am blessed to be called his wife.

So today I remind myself of these blessings. This GOOD. Even though today I felt emo and screwed up a bit in my subbing career by double booking (TWICE....in the span of 12 hours...which I've only done one other time in my 3 year career). When I screw up, I take it to heart. But truly...I know that life is more than that. I can wallow (a bit) but life needs to continue to move forward. I am so glad I have someone moving forward with me and reminding me of the GOOD to when I forget. I need him.

And in this season of Spring, I feel the desires to truly be rooted and firmly established in Jesus. I need HIM more then anything or anyone. And I long to have my heart fully satisfied in HIM. I try to think of theme verses for each month, and I have not yet claimed one for May, but I think I will choose to meditate on just those things I mentioned:

Colossians 2:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

6 And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. 7 Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Dark Days

So today is the brightest Saturday morning. Sun is streaming in every window and doorway. We have our blinds up to the highest and our window just had fresh spring air blowing through here. My darlin husband has seriously been working hard all morning cleaning...and I mean DEEP CLEANING our bathrooms. I have been sitting here in our kitchen, reading Psalms and texting a sweet gal and thinking about some of the harder days.

I just read some beautiful, REAL and AUTHENTIC words from my emo/artist/kindred spirit David in Psalm 13....

How long will you forget me?

How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul...

with sorrow in my heart every day?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die.

And I can honestly say that the whole year of 2013 was one of the hardest and toughest years to struggle through. Yes, I was engaged. Yes, I was in love. But I was losing a church I loved. If you know me, church has always been a topic of my heart. Even back in high school, I chatted for hours with friends about the flaws and my hopes for what church "was intended to be". And in Bible school, I defended the "CHURCH" to all my friends filled with angst and bitterness of how the church had "hurt" them. Through my adult single years, I watched a church just utterly defeat our family. I watched my Mom and Dad be pummeled....thats the only way I can describe it...by people they had literally poured their hearts and souls into. I walked away from a church that had "loved and cared for me" from the age of 10 all through my teen age years and into my 20s. I left behind people I thought would be at my wedding. I thought it would be different then that. I reluctantly attended the "it" church that most of the people my age had been attending for the past few years. I left before the last song, and sat with my sister every week. I didn't connect, nor did I want to. After a few years, I joined a small group. I started to belong. I started to really get to know people, and it wasn't easy, but it was family. It took me a few more years, but God gave me a passion for Sunday School so I started to do that and loved every second. I started dating Danny, and we were scared for our "first Sunday sitting together"...but we attended this church all through our dating days and when we were engaged, it was announced from the front. We were loved and blessed by people who noticed us and celebrated with us at our wedding. 

But almost from the moment we were engaged, this church came between Danny and I. We fought, discussed and talked for hours about what was happening. And I don't want to rehash nor do I want to act like it didn't happen...because it did. It still affects me, but gratefully, I feel like I am healing. 

So after much prayer, discussion and watching what it was doing to US. We left our church. We started fresh in a new one. Its not easy nor is it perfect. But we can and we see that God is leading us and we want to be where God wants us.

All of this to say, DARK DAYS. It still creeps in on me. I still hate that I lost my church. I still feel bitterness and unforgiveness and anger. But God is so close to me that I can hardly even allow it to simmer before I pray and allow God to wash over me. I just ache to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow all those good fruits to be in my heart...not the other ones (hostility, anger, divisions, bitterness...etc.)

All of this to say that this PSALM does not disregard those feelings. It does not say. Do not ever feel sorrow. Do not ever be negative.....but what it does say and the redemption of the Psalms is that although those feelings are acknowledged....almost all psalms end with a praise to God...such as this one:

But........

I TRUST IN YOUR UNFAILING LOVE

I WILL REJOICE BECAUSE YOU HAVE RESCUED ME

I WILL SING TO THE LORD

BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME

So this morning, as all those feelings washed over me. 

I was reminded again that God's unfailing LOVE has been with me. Through all the hard days in the past. Those HARD days of being single and watching your friends fall in love, plan weddings, start a family. Those HARD days of being in the middle of your church splitting. Those HARD days of trying to understand where our new loyalties lie as newlyweds even though we have our ties to our own families, we have forged a new one together.  

And today on this sunny bright spring day, in my clean house. Sitting with Indie Dance music playing loud and in the peace of being able to write and read my Bible. Knowing I am loved from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes by my best friend who is cleaning my shower....Knowing that I have so many blessings living here at 46 Hilltop Drive. Knowing that both of our families are close and we all love each other. Knowing that we have a church that we can start building new friendships and connections in, and knowing that my heart is still connected with my old church through prayers and making intentional connections.  I know that God has rescued me from dark days, and they will come again---no doubt...but HE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME. I am so grateful for this reminder today.