Its really hard to not compete, get jealous or have this ideal in your head when you are perusing beautiful pictures on instagram and blogs. I love being inspired and seeing good ideas from my friends or interesting strangers, but there is a fine line of comparison that causes stress or problems in our own little marriage. Just last night, Dan asked me "Is instagram making you feel like we had a boring day?" The truth is we had the perfect day. I like posting pictures of my sweetie and our life but I'm starting to feel like there's too much bragging that happens. Its enough to make me want to clam up and shut up.
Life isn't perfect. Yes, my darlin' did make my VDAY more special then I ever imagined. But the truth is there was alot of hard discussions and talks and moments of strain and awkwardness because of the HIGH expectations I had. There was a moment on Valentines night when I was in one room journalling and Dan was in another watching Olympics. Not really what My PERFECT Vday looked like in my head. We worked it out. We always do, eventually!!!
Marriage is beautiful and wonderful. I am thankful and unbelievably amazed that I get to be part of something that totally makes you humbled and show your selfishness but also allows you to serve and love in a way that is just different then being single. I feel like every day there is a moment or moments that we are looking each other in the eye and making a choice to pick and argue or stop and love and forgive. The choice is always there. And my Dan shows me more grace, kindness, patience and mercy then I ever thought was possible.
So VDAY is done. The hearts are still up. We learned a little about what is gonna work for us, and maybe next year it will be a bit smoother. But I am truly thankful for my love story. I feel honored to love and be loved. I want to guard my marriage and all the moments that can build up love or resentment. I want to make our home happy and peaceful. I want my husband to feel like the luckiest guy in the world and I want to appreciate the way I know there is no other person that could love me the way he does.
I'm trying to write a verse on our monthly calendar so I see it every day, and this month it was
Colossians 3:12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
