Thoughts on Parenting, from a Newb

I haven't overloaded on researching on parenting as much as one may assume I would, or should. I have a stack of parenting books though, does that count? I read a broad range of blogs, and recently I have been inspired by a few of the parenting ones  I have found. So, mostly for my own sake, I want to write a few thoughts on the ones that I've liked.

First, Slow Parenting. 

In my experience as a teacher, nanny, babysitter, aunt, and Sunday School teacher, etc...I can say I am guilty of "rushing". There just never is enough time, and honestly, little kids are slow. They are never as fast as adults in walking, eating, coloring, running, etc... So this article spoke to me. I even teared up at a few spots. My favorite lines were: 

“We don’t overschedule ourselves. My husband and I spend lots of time at home. My kids dig in the dirt and ride bikes, we blow bubbles and go to the beach,” says [Lindsay Miller, a mother of three boys, ages 2, 4, and 7]…

• I so badly want this to be how Malachi grows up. I think it will be very hard not to want to enroll him in every activity because honestly, I know it will be fun. I think it will be wonderful to watch him play sports, listen to him play music, let him explore art, and whatever else kids enjoy these days. But this is my lens, I love being home. The best part of my day is being home with Danny and Malachi. Danny recently reminded me that sometimes quality time will look like cheering on Malachi (or even now, cheering on Danny!!) from the sidelines. It will be important to show up---to be there for him. But I do love thinking about playing here at home. To appreciate our yard, our neighbourhood, and even our little home! I love being in Malachi's room with him and he is enthralled with looking around it!

Second, Empowering Children,

I found even more great articles in her links, but I will talk about this article. I've talked about this alot with Danny and Kristi recently. I want Malachi to know and earn and deserve our trust. This article was geared more for teenagers, but it can start so young. I want Malachi to trust himself and be confident in himself. So many of my prayers for him already are to be a good friend and to stand up for good things. 

My favorite lines were:

 "We could make a few bad decisions with our independence because their reasoning was that it was better to fail while they were there to help pick up the pieces than to send us out into the world for the first shot at failure.

Those years at home are practice for an independent life after home."

• Danny has already taught me this so many times in the way I parent and work with kids. The first time he reminded me of this, we were babysitting Levi and Jonah, and Levi was just a little fella but he really wanted to help carry the Lego up the stairs...I stepped in when I saw him struggling and took the box away from him and carried it the rest of the way for him. Later Danny brought it up and gently told me that Levi was doing fine and he hadn't asked for help, and that Danny was there behind him if he did need it. That never left me and reminds me that so many things we do as adults really shape the way children view themselves. And coming from an insecure gal, I want to do my best to raise kids that are strong and confident and trust themselves...and when they fail to know that we are behind them to "pick up the pieces". 

Last, another Sarah Bessey goodie: Guard Your Gates

So, scary things are going to be part of Malachi's life. This fact causes me to have anxiety already. I have had prayer sessions already calling out and pleading to God to guard him from harm, sickness, abuse, etc... I don't want even one bad thing to happen to him. I don't want him to be scared or lonely or worried. Ugh. This is the part of parenting that causes so much fear for me, and without God's peace---I can't imagine how I would ever handle it. I am so thankful for the reminder of building strong children and knowing that God is in control. When...unfortunately, not IF---When bad things happen to Malachi, I pray that he will find rest and strength in Jesus. I already sing to him `God is so Good`

because quite frankly, this world is NOT good. 

My favorite lines were:

"You need to guard your gates, baby. If you guard your gates, then nothing will come into your mind and heart that you don’t want in there.

You want to open your gate up to the good things, sweetheart. You open your heart and your mind up to the things that make you laugh or make you good or make you think."

After reading this article, I really loved the phrase she mentioned in the first part and made a little visual out of it for a reminder for me to teach this in my home too.

My little Sunbeam

Pure Joy. 

This morning I was half asleep and heard a little voice in the next room....cooing, talking and just rolling around in his bed. I love that he doesn't wake up crying and grumpy...almost every morning when I walk in he has this HUGE grin when he sees me. He instantly rolls around and is silly and funny. I love waking him up. He makes me laugh so much during the day. He really is quite funny. My day starts with joy. We wake up Daddy and follow him around in the morning so Malachi can get a little time with him. Recently, I take Malachi and my coffee back to my bed and we just chill there...unless Malachi is tuckered out from his early morning workout sesh in his crib and he will settle back for a nap. I check on him every few minutes because I find him so adorable. He lies on his belly and sometimes changes positions within seconds. Its so funny to me where he ends up. When he wakes up, he usually has more smiles and we get ready for the day! He is so easy to take care of. I let him roll around on his mat or jump in his exersaucer. If I take him in town, he is usually so mesmerized with his surroundings that I don`t hardly hear a peep out of him. I took him grocery shopping and he was amazed! In the car he sometimes talks but usually on the way home he cuddles to the side and is asleep by the time I pull in the driveway. I don`t really like letting him sleep in car seat, but he doesn`t seem to mind it. I know he gets longer naps in his crib, but I usually don`t disturb him. I love taking him in his stroller to the Post Office. He gets lots of attention from all my post-lady friends! He loves looking at the trees and can usually fall asleep in his stroller too...especially if I close it up. If its open..there is WAY too much for him to see to fall asleep. We live by his cousins so he gets to play with Levi on some days and Matthew and William on others! He already had playdates with his little friends Turner, Noah and Jeremiah...but not too much ``playing`` happened yet. The afternoon is pretty peaceful here. We play for a bit and then he usually has his last nap of the day...we try to time it so he`s awake when Daddy gets home from work. He squeals, coos and BEAMS when he sees his Daddy. His little legs are pumpin and his arms are flailing, and basically Danny is just as excited! Pretty sweet. We have supper and then basically just stare and play with Malachi. Danny loves teaching him new tricks...and I wouldn`t be surprised if he starts scooting or crawling soon! Danny usually tucks him in for the night and I don`t want to jinx it but Malachi usually wakes up 1 or 2 times from when we put him down until he wakes up in the morning in between 6 and 7. 

Mother's Day Walk in North Rustico, 2015. 

I can hardly believe this little darlin is all mine. I love spending my days with him. I honestly find him to be a complete joy. He is so precious and my prayers surround him as I watch him growing and changing each day. There can be a hole of fear or worry about his future...sometimes I can't stop picturing all the things that "could" happen to him...but I try to stop and surrender that to Jesus. I pray that Malachi finds Jesus at a young age. Danny and I were talking about our hopes for Malachi...because at this point we don't know what he will be like in personality or how he will develop as a little boy...but I pray for him to know and love Jesus, to be a good friend, to stand up for the good and the right, to be a defender of the weak and to continue to be a happy, healthy joy to everyone he meets and knows. 

Sunshine for days!

Well my little darlin is fast asleep! He's been coughing and pretty nasal-y lately, but it hasn't hindered his mood! He's the happiest little guy! I wish I could bottle up all his screeches, coos and talking! I've been trying to record them, but really, it's nothing like the live show! I love that guy!

He is 19 weeks old today! Wowza! I can hardly believe its been that long, and as much as I can remember that early newborn stage...it even feels like so long ago. I held a darlin little newborn the other day and another baby who was a little over a month and I couldn't believe the difference! They are so fragile and tiny! I am so glad Malachi is growing into his long body.

(First walk in the full on sunshine, no blankets...and a few seconds later no SOCKS!)

Besides loving being a Mom, I am thrilled that the long, snowy winter is over. I'll never forget this winter. It was definitely the BEST of my life! So many cozy days together, so, so SO much snow though! It just this week finally completely melted. I surprised Danny with having our deck all set up for the summer when he got home so him and Malachi could get a little snuggle in!
From this 2 weeks ago:

To this 2 days ago:

We are blessed to have these two special (Grand) Mothers who love Malachi (and us too)

 and the more I realize how true the quote is---

“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” 

― Elizabeth Stone

My reflections on being a Mom change almost every day. I sometimes can't help tears from falling when its difficult to express just how much I love my boy. I have enjoyed every single day with him. I find it hard to talk about Mother's Day because for some its a day of reminder that they are waiting for many different things. I am excited though to celebrate my first one. Mostly I can't wait to go for a drive and grab a Starbucks and be with my two fave people! The role of Mama is one that I honestly wasn't anticipating as much as I was anticipating being a Wife...but my life will never, EVER be the same without these two guys who gave me both roles. So happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate their own Moms, may it be filled with love and comfort to all.

My prayer of thanks for the heritage both Danny and I have and for what Malachi has.

Psalm 71:5-6

O Lord, You alone are my hope. I've trusted You, O Lord, from childhood.

Yes, You have been with me from birth;

from my mother`s womb You have cared for me.