A Weekend Getaway

When I look at this picture...It really makes me amazed that this is a place of beauty is so close. I don't have to take a plane or book a cruise or pay thousands of dollars to step onto this beautiful shore...its here. This is my kindred spirit's favorite beach...Sandy Cove...Its about a 20 minute drive from Halifax...which translates about a 3 hour drive from PEI. 

I spent my first weekend away from Danny...but got to spend it with Julie and we got to explore this beautiful little treasure. 

How did I feel prior to the trip?

well....a little homesick, already

(And I know that its a no brainer! OF COURSE! Take time to be apart. Let yourselves MISS eachother. Invest in your friends. Expand your world! Get off that Island if you can!!! BREATHE! TRAVEL! and for goodness sakes, Just have FUN!)

****I know all these things in my brain, but my heart struggles! 

But...even though I was REALLY homesick...I know I did the right thing! Even that short little break: to visit the beach, sit on GIANT Nova Scotian rocks, see a pretty little lighthouse and share hearts with my kindred... was worth it! She was pretty busy this weekend so the rest of it was spent either with people she loves, waiting for her to be done work, or spending some time with HER favorite person (Greg)! It was totally worth it! I am so thankful that I went. Although it was a bit hard for me to be away from Danny...and I will be honest, we did struggle in making it work! I experienced a beautiful weekend, got some pumpkin spice lattes, had the most delish INDIAN food ever with Greg and Julie, watched some funny movies, and got to see Julie's (busy) life up close! 

What did I learn?

Well as a couple, we learned to clearly communicate our needs to eachother....But I learned that I need to be a bit more graceful in communicating my needs. Being away does cost a little in the short term, but coming home is always GOOD! It helps us appreciate eachother more and appreciate BEING together more too!

Pumpkin Spice Life

I adore this flavor! I have already got a tasty surprise of a hot pumpkin spice latte and a iced one too!!! This is my ABSOLUTE favorite flavor and it doesn't last forever. Fall is upon us now! Although I hope there are a few sunny warm days left, and actually Danny went surfing the other day with NO WET SUIT! Hahaha, what a guy!

So, there is an excitement that I always have in the first week of September...but there is an all too familiar "feeling" of unrest and anxiousness that comes with never knowing from day to day what I will be doing, IF I will be working and where I will be.I am unbelievably thankful for two days of work this week. But I also struggle with....now what!! Its almost 8 am, and by this time, I know its NOT going to happen!

This is the time that I just savor...I like that quiet that comes before the busy day.

There is always something on my mind. Something hard or heavy or BIG or even something really small that just niggles at me...I have a hard time just "emptying" my mind, as they say. Even when I am doing the DIRECT work of relaxing or yoga...it feels like THOSE are the moments I make the BEST To Do Lists or remember something in the kitchen that I forgot to do or plan out in my brain the exact steps I could do as soon as I'm finished "relaxing"....whoops...that totally defeats the ENTIRE purpose.

Anyways. As much as I tend to focus on myself, my mind keeps being drawn to dear Loved ones that are going through painful times right now. Its so hard to keep focus on the things that matter. In the end, really...its the people I love that matter to me. I spend the majority of my time with Danny, of course....but we try really hard to balance both of our families, siblings and parents and try to get as many visits in that we can handle!

Mostly what I wanted to express today is that I am struggling learning to be thankful for the moments I am given, daily. I live near my family, I live in a beautiful place, we are blessed to be connected with many people who love Jesus, Danny works for a KIND and GENEROUS man, I love teaching when I get the chance, we have a great comfortable home, and we have eachother. I have a great life. I am thankful for these things and that should be enough. It IS enough, I just have to learn to be content in the situation God places me, daily.

Phillipians 4:11 "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little."

Missions

I can clearly remember a night during Missions Conference at my church when I "answered the call" and went forward to show my church that I was willing to be a missionary. I think I was maybe 10 or 11. That was a TERRIFYING moment...seriously. I hate altar calls because I struggle with the fear of am I doing this for other people or for God...but I definitely know that God has placed missions on my heart.

I was driving the other day and remember an EARLY age...like before I was 10 that I would tell people that I wanted a "black baby" some day. I have always wanted to work in an orphanage and love children that are desperate for love and human touch.

The main reason I chose to go to Prairie Bible College, after MUCH deliberation and consideration(I had tons of pamphlets and information on my ULTIMATE dream of YWAM schools) was their missions heart. I was touched and blessed in my four years there to interact with MANY missionaries and beyond that so many of my close friends have hearts for missions too. All of my best friends are in ministry whether it is under a Christian organization or their heart for Jesus in every day life.

And one of my most treasured memories in my adult life was living in Dominican Republic working with Haitian children who lived in a village that was supported by a beautiful mission called Children of the Nations.

The past ten years since Prairie Bible College....(EEK...10 years????)....have not looked like I would have imagined. I actually remember getting a call from Prairie who was checking in on Alumni across the world to see what we were "up to" and I told them I was a waitress in a local Pizza shop....um....the call ended pretty quickly after that. It didn't hurt me (that much) but it definitely caused me to wonder why things turned out the way they did. Even when I made plans to travel to Japan to teach English with my best friend KT at an amazing Christian organization that I had felt reflected my heart perfectly....it didn't work out. I ended up at a school 3 hours away that was not Christian and only stayed for a year instead of the 2 or 3 I had planned for.

All of this to say,
I have been lead down a path that has ended me about a km from where I grew up...and most of my family is a 2 or 3 minute drive from where I live. I married a man who has traveled to Africa, Australia and lived out West. And although we are not working full time in an African orphanage, he has supported an African boy named Isaac for the past couple years. We have a little orphan on our fridge that we can love and pray for daily. I have not traveled to the foreign lands that I have dreamed that I would go (although I do hope and pray that someday I can) but my heart is connected to so many countries right now: Japan, Bangladesh, Papa New Guinea, Africa, Canadian Native Reserves, Camp Joy/Hope in New York City, Halifax, churches all across North America, Egypt, Spain, Camp Seggie in PEI...to name a few. I also have recently been encouraged by praying for the children that my friends are raising. Praying for their relationships with Christ and their needs and knowing that God is already doing amazing things in the heritage of faith. What a privilege!

I just had this feeling this morning of the huge blessing it is to be connected to people who love Jesus. Who have hearts to serve in the place God has called them. To humbly ask for support and prayer, and to trust in faith that God will supply all their needs. For me: I also have to ask for prayer and trust that God will lead me where I should be and supply all my needs. I am not a rich girl by any means, and when I married Danny, his life changed financially because of my debt. We can't give as freely as we wish....but I love hearing needs and doing what I can. There is SO much to give to these days. SO many things that are worthy and excellent and things I want to be part of. I have surrounded myself with people who WANT to serve God and who need partners to do so. I have been the receiver of kindness over and over and over in my life and I WANT to be part of the blessing of giving to others too. There is so much that I can't do because of finances...but there is so much I can do if I listen and open my heart to how Jesus loves.

I am so honored today to have lists of people on my prayer notecards, pictures up on my fridge and to receive emails/prayer letters all the time of people sharing their stories and hearts of love.  It is EXCITING to be part of it!
Some of the people I pray for:

Sean in Papa New Guinea (the beard face)

Jonny and Holly in Bangladesh (both engineers, working on building a hospital)

April (and husband Travis) teaching in Egypt

KT teaching for over 7 years to Japanese Kindergarteners! (lucky kids to have her!!)

Paul serving with YWAM, currently raising support for Long Island, NY

Daily Grace

When I was single, I needed daily grace to deal with the loneliness, self centeredness and plain ol selfishness. I needed reminders to look outside myself and to not make myself the center of the universe. Being married does not make all of this magically disappear....if only!!! I have learned alot about the daily grace and forgiveness I need as a wife and even more so as the months roll past. Summer is almost gone, and the daily grind of working without the promise of a night swim or beach day on the weekend is almost gone too!

I do love Fall, but I have that sadness that drips in because I ADORE summer! I love the brightness, I love the happy colors all around me and I love the beach.

All of this collides together with knowing that in the days ahead I am going to feel certain things and be disappointed and the excitement of my wedding summer is almost over....and I will need DAILY, if not HOURLY, but most certainly MOMENT BY MOMENT grace!

We received the loveliest devotional from one of my first friends at Prairie (April King!!) called Devotions for a Sacred Marriage and the first one was about having a God-centered relationship. Easy enough....

...well...until something pushes my buttons, or I feel upset, or sensitive, or I don't get heard or responded to immediately...oh I need MORE patience and gentleness and kindness. Those are my 3 hopes I pray for all the time!

And now that I am married there are so many things that don't slip by anymore, because they are noticed and they affect the one person I love most in the world. If I am grumpy...it affects Dan. If I am moody, it affects Dan....and if I don't put God at the center of our relationship...it affects Dan. I am just writing this out as a new wife of 3 months and I already feel the weight of making our marriage last forever. I am determined to be a wonderful wife and blessing to Dan and I don't want little things to slip into our marriage the irritate and destroy slowly.

I need daily grace. I need to be filled with Jesus' love. I need community and people around me to show me the way, and I need quiet prayer times to fill my selfish heart and quiet my restless mind.