Thoughts on Parenting, from a Newb

I haven't overloaded on researching on parenting as much as one may assume I would, or should. I have a stack of parenting books though, does that count? I read a broad range of blogs, and recently I have been inspired by a few of the parenting ones  I have found. So, mostly for my own sake, I want to write a few thoughts on the ones that I've liked.

First, Slow Parenting. 

In my experience as a teacher, nanny, babysitter, aunt, and Sunday School teacher, etc...I can say I am guilty of "rushing". There just never is enough time, and honestly, little kids are slow. They are never as fast as adults in walking, eating, coloring, running, etc... So this article spoke to me. I even teared up at a few spots. My favorite lines were: 

“We don’t overschedule ourselves. My husband and I spend lots of time at home. My kids dig in the dirt and ride bikes, we blow bubbles and go to the beach,” says [Lindsay Miller, a mother of three boys, ages 2, 4, and 7]…

• I so badly want this to be how Malachi grows up. I think it will be very hard not to want to enroll him in every activity because honestly, I know it will be fun. I think it will be wonderful to watch him play sports, listen to him play music, let him explore art, and whatever else kids enjoy these days. But this is my lens, I love being home. The best part of my day is being home with Danny and Malachi. Danny recently reminded me that sometimes quality time will look like cheering on Malachi (or even now, cheering on Danny!!) from the sidelines. It will be important to show up---to be there for him. But I do love thinking about playing here at home. To appreciate our yard, our neighbourhood, and even our little home! I love being in Malachi's room with him and he is enthralled with looking around it!

Second, Empowering Children,

I found even more great articles in her links, but I will talk about this article. I've talked about this alot with Danny and Kristi recently. I want Malachi to know and earn and deserve our trust. This article was geared more for teenagers, but it can start so young. I want Malachi to trust himself and be confident in himself. So many of my prayers for him already are to be a good friend and to stand up for good things. 

My favorite lines were:

 "We could make a few bad decisions with our independence because their reasoning was that it was better to fail while they were there to help pick up the pieces than to send us out into the world for the first shot at failure.

Those years at home are practice for an independent life after home."

• Danny has already taught me this so many times in the way I parent and work with kids. The first time he reminded me of this, we were babysitting Levi and Jonah, and Levi was just a little fella but he really wanted to help carry the Lego up the stairs...I stepped in when I saw him struggling and took the box away from him and carried it the rest of the way for him. Later Danny brought it up and gently told me that Levi was doing fine and he hadn't asked for help, and that Danny was there behind him if he did need it. That never left me and reminds me that so many things we do as adults really shape the way children view themselves. And coming from an insecure gal, I want to do my best to raise kids that are strong and confident and trust themselves...and when they fail to know that we are behind them to "pick up the pieces". 

Last, another Sarah Bessey goodie: Guard Your Gates

So, scary things are going to be part of Malachi's life. This fact causes me to have anxiety already. I have had prayer sessions already calling out and pleading to God to guard him from harm, sickness, abuse, etc... I don't want even one bad thing to happen to him. I don't want him to be scared or lonely or worried. Ugh. This is the part of parenting that causes so much fear for me, and without God's peace---I can't imagine how I would ever handle it. I am so thankful for the reminder of building strong children and knowing that God is in control. When...unfortunately, not IF---When bad things happen to Malachi, I pray that he will find rest and strength in Jesus. I already sing to him `God is so Good`

because quite frankly, this world is NOT good. 

My favorite lines were:

"You need to guard your gates, baby. If you guard your gates, then nothing will come into your mind and heart that you don’t want in there.

You want to open your gate up to the good things, sweetheart. You open your heart and your mind up to the things that make you laugh or make you good or make you think."

After reading this article, I really loved the phrase she mentioned in the first part and made a little visual out of it for a reminder for me to teach this in my home too.