Moms

I love Mother's Day. I am glad we take a day out to celebrate both of my parents around this season. Its the perfect excuse to have a family meal and buy a special present and write a meaningful note to my Mom. I was thinking alot about that John Mayer song (Daughters) and that it is true that our parents do alot to form who we are...and YES, its very important to be good to your sons and daughters...but I was thinking about the legacy and the heritage I have and then thinking about (forgive the song reference...) but the "mazes" Danny has had to deal with from me and it usually does have "nothing to do with him". There's alot in my heart that has been built up with love and grace from my parents, especially my Mom...who my sister worded well, did most of the raising, rearing, disciplining and building up in our home (due to my Dad working full time as a pastor and being committed most evenings to church things). But there's those OTHER things that are deep in my heart that cause stress and strife in our relationship that also impact Danny. He is the most constant and intimate male relationship I've ever had and he wants the best for me... so more than any other male in my life he works really hard to address things and talk it out and listen and make things work for us. Because we are so different, this has caused more stress and pain and conflict then I even want to begin to think about...especially in the past 4 months, unfortunately. We have had to deal with some really big things and are slowly coming up over the hardest part and starting smooth sailing again but the fact that my man has NEVER given up on me even when I had some of my hardest and most difficult moments and didn't always show my best side to him makes me feel so utterly safe and secure. I know he loves me, and it still flabbergasts me why sometimes, but I know he does and he will stick by me to the end.

Its not just Danny though. My friends and family who have supported me in the past few months really don't know how that has helped me. When I think of my line up of 7 bridesmaids...theses are the girls that have had such a huge impact on me.

 Jodi and Kristin: my school years wouldn't have been the same without them. We formed a spiritual friendship from when we were teens and they are two of my inspirations and encouragements in maintaining a daily quiet time a midst the chaos of raising children, running a home and loving their husbands. Kristin, of any friend I have, you do the MOST to maintain connection with me. I feel pretty guilty sometimes with the amount of effort you put into me. I know you love me and want to know about my life and I am so thankful that you have that gift of keeping in touch. I know we will be friends until we are old and gray!

Brittany and KT: my Prairie years wouldn't have been the same without them and even after that...living in Japan with KT. I know so much of my spiritual friendship was impacted by journalling with Britt, talking out life with all the Prairie girls, driving to church every Sunday with KT (blaring TuPac the whole time) and seeing Jesus in them. I am so proud of who they are and they continue to inspire me in so many ways, even though I don't get to have the every day life lived together I'll never forget the days that I DID have that privilege.

Julie: my life AFTER university wouldn't have been the same without her. I met her 10 years ago at Kristi's wedding. We drove to New York many times and she has impacted my life as an UTTER servant and caregiver to children. I have watched her loving children and giving LITERALLY every penny she has for the joy of others. She has sacrificed so much and there is NO cost that is too high that she wouldn't give to ANYONE. She inspires me with her giving and her patience and her ability to THRIVE in chaos. She is perfect for what God has chosen her for and the kids and the people she impacts will be lining the hallways of heaven to give her tributes someday. So proud of her.

My sisters. Well, since one reads my blog and one doesn't I'll just put this in a general way. I am blessed to be raised in a dysfunctional family of 5 kids. We grew up in a home where there was a huge RANGE of ages. And I have always been the middle child...hahah. I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. And I know the relationships we have with our siblings are far different then any friendship. My Mom has always had this burning desire for all of us to be close, and in our own way we certainly have come a long way from those days of fighting over 5 dollars of gas and who's turn it was to wash the dishes. We still fall back into our roles at family meals...well correction: I Do. I am probably the one that acts the "youngest" when we are all together...but I do love my siblings. I love the family nights we are blessed to have together and I am grateful that there are 4 other people in this world that I don't have to explain my family issues to. They get it. We all get it. We all have our own perspectives, but there are just certain things you can't really put into words sometimes. I am so grateful for my sisters. I am thankful that I have sisters to show me through their experiences of marriage of what I want for mine. There are things in their lives that aren't perfect but I have learned about the priorities I want in my marriage.
Kristi: You have taught me to love your husband first. You adore Jason. You miss him when he's gone for even one night. You go to sleep at the same time every night and pray together (even when one person falls asleep). You serve him and give him a good life. You are an amazing cook and your home is filled with peace and love. Its one of my favorite places in the world and it DEFINITELY is the place I would call a safe haven for me. When I'm upset or sad, I always feel a calm there and your boys give me so much joy. So well done! You are doing it.
Lori: I know that your life is different than you imagined. You have been blessed with four amazing kids who are so different but so smart and talented. You have given them so many opportunities to do sports, travel, be part of church and school and community life. I remember when you first got married how you decorated your apartment and how you made such fancy meals for Brian. I know that newly wed stage doesn't last forever but I remember watching you and Brian falling in love! I know we are similar and I know Danny and Brian are similar. I thank God that he blessed us both with men who can fill our gaps and show us alot of grace, kindness and patience.

I have so many girls that have sent me emails, sent me packages, called me, asked me questions and tried to be there for me even though time and distance often causes a separation. I have felt so supported and loved and I know that I am blessed.

To wrap up this little blog: I want to go back to that song and I love it. I just realize so much about the HUGE impact we have on each other. I am so thankful for all the people who have inspired me. I want to be the best wife to Dan. I want to be an amazing Mom. I know I won't be perfect but I am so glad that I have such a HUGE wealth of people I admire that I can look to.

So Happy Mother's Day. You are doing a great job. Thanks for showing me what good mothers look like. Thanks for being honest about life and keep doing what you're doing!