This month has been hard in a few ways. My dads been in the hospital for over a week, and hoping to get out this week! There's been improvement so that's great! We are connected with a few families that have major health concerns and this is hard. Its almost debilitating-ly hard to not know what to do when someone is going through a hard time. My go to is food and flowers. Its what I want to do to help and sometimes the only thing I can think of to do. And in this case I can't even do that very well since my friend is all the way in Nova Scotia. But I'm trying to think of other ways to help.
And the big looming darkness is work. I actually had a big cry last week about it and my darlin husband just let me cry big wet tears on him for a few minutes...but then he patiently suggested and encouraged me to volunteer more and work even harder at achieving my dream. He hates seeing me discouraged but he said exactly the right thing to remind me that there's always something I can do. I hate selling myself. I'm not a good marketer and feel like that should have been a course that is offered in Education degrees because marketing yourself is maybe the BIGGEST obstacle that you deal with after graduating. I know I love kids and I know I work hard but selling myself and convincing the adults in the system I should be there is not my fave...playing with the kids, drawing and reading, teaching and working directly with students IS my fave. I long to be a teacher so much. Its a little distracting how much sometimes. I stuff it down and try to fill my days with being a housewife, but I listen to talks like this!!! and I just want to be a CHAMPION to some little people on a consistent basis!
And reading blogs of productive woman who are successful at what they do is also something that confuses me. Sometimes I feel encouraged, but other times I get a little down seeing all they accomplish in their waking hours!
I literally have few obligations right now in my life...and this hilarious youtube video reminded Danny and I of this really magical time in our marriage of TIME TOGETHER!!! We literally can just walk out the door! hahah I love that! And things will not always be like this (hopefully!!!) but I can't seem to figure out how to really just accept where I'm at in life! I am always looking forward to what could/will happen next!
All that to say I want to leave this post with joy in my words that despite the darkness that inches in some days there is truly so many things that are lovely and wonderful in my days such as:
- our house is finally at a stage that we have had visitors come over...including a crazy amount of woman for a Baby Shower (this was a wonderful reunion of a bunch of ladies from our old church who haven't all been together in a few months due to our church split...crazy but great!!) and a sleep over with our nephews and an aps and zerts with some of my fave people around our dining table!!
- Fresh flowers on my table! There is something that just always cheers me up when this happens
- Cozy rainy nights with my best friend (and fresh salted brownies for a treat!!!)
- re-reading Harry Potter series has been fun! I have to use a head lamp when I read at night...to be polite to my bed-mate!!! But I'm already almost done book 3!
- Movie Nights! Last week we saw Ender's Game and hopefully tonight we are going to see THOR! I can't wait and it helps that we can go to 2 movies a month instead of 1 when we go on cheap night!
- New yummy recipes! Last night we had coconut mango chicken with basmanti rice! Tasty! And it also helped that Dan had it cooking after I got home from tutoring!
- I have to say that I am enjoying reading through Romans as we are studying this at our new church! Its a deep book but very encouraging to go through a whole book of the Bible and learn the background and context of some of my fave verses!
- Enjoying seeing our house come together! Dan's almost done our bathroom renos! Can't wait to show you the before/after pic!
Have a great day! Thanks for reading!
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