The painful best

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” 

― C.S. Lewis

I have had a bunch of posts brewing in my head...but I am a bit hesitant to actually bear my soul through this little window and instead I am choosing to think about what my mentor CS says...and its not easy at all. I don't like thinking that God's best is painful. I don't like standing inside conflict or even standing apart from it and viewing something that feels so broken and lost. I don't like the growing pains of being vulnerable to someone and letting them access the hurts and shame and even sharing in the good...the personal places that you are proud of but are shy about talking about sometimes. Its been a painful last few weeks and a painful last few years in a few areas...not to say there hasn't been GOOD! I have fallen in love, of course. I have finally gotten to experience teaching at all levels of elementary, and I have settled into a comfortable routine of spending time with my family and people I love on the place I love most in the world....PEI. These are all VERY good. 

But the pain is also there too. I am not yet in a full time financially secure job. My church community is in conflict and shrinking more and more each week and things are changing around here. People are changing and things are changing. 

I don't doubt that God knows best. Never that. I do know His best does involve pain. It has for His children in the past, it has for His only begotten Son and it will for me. 

But its hard! PAIN is not fun!