Every year I look forward to the season of snow, and glitter and twinkle lights. I adore lighting the tree every morning and love all the colors from the ornaments and ribbons and sparkles. I love buying presents. I love baking treats. I love having family get togethers....nonstop, (it seems) when together we have 7 siblings plus husbands and wives and 8 nieces and nephews and our parents happen to live 5 minutes away from eachother! We managed to squeeze ALOT of family time in!
I truly do love this season but there always are a few glitches. In this season there has been joy and sorrow. There has been funerals and parties. There has been health and sickness. All of these things contribute to a roller coaster of emotions. I feel truly blessed and know that my life has so many gifts that I can hardly even believe are mine. I truly do feel so thankful for so many things. But I have been noticing along with all the joy there are many people who are hurting, including me at times.
What can we do. What can I do.
I have been trying to practice inward empathy and awareness that everything is not always as it seems. When I am shopping and people are frustrated and stressed, I try to smile and be gracious to anyone and everyone...although I don't always succeed. When I am given truly thoughtful gifts from my family and friends, I try to take the time to do that for them to. ..although it's easy to give a gift card. (I only gave one this year!). I have tried to be generous...although spending is a weakness of mine and January usually hits pretty hard!!!
But this is not to toot my horn, because the one that knows me best (Danny) knows that I didn't succeed in everything this year. He knows that there were dark and grumpy moments on my happiest day of the year (Christmas Eve) and he was there beside me. And because of Danny, I have learned so much about unconditional love extended to an imperfect girl. I love that guy so much!
I have tried to work through my Advent Devotional and although I did miss a few days it has reached my heart so many days in the quiet moments reading....it reminds me that Christmas is Advent. Its about Jesus coming to me.... to my dark and lonely planet, at times. To a place where angels sing and where evil is plotted. There is joy here, but there is also deep sorrow. He left His Home to be Emmanuel. God with us. I am so thankful for Jesus. I love carols and I felt gypped when my church didn't sing enough of them, so instead I pumped Christmas carols every second I could from my home speakers. I have been ministered from those precious words and I know that Jesus is lifted up this season in those beautiful songs. I pray that they reach hearts that would otherwise never have worship songs playing in their homes or on their radios.
So to conclude. I have felt the wonder of it all. I have learned a lot this year. I feel sad that its over, but I truly do anticipate a beautiful fresh new start to 2014 and look forward to continuing to understand how to love and be loved by the HEART of all hearts...JESUS.
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